Disclaimer : I am not a professional nor someone who has an in-depth knowledge of psychological issues. I just wanted to keep a journal of what I am currently experiencing for my own self, as well to help to those experience the same issue. This is also not an act of seeking sympathy or attention from anyone. Merely writing it for myself and for those who are experiencing anxiety like myself too. It was December, in 2017. The usual yearly vacation with my family season, where on the particular year we decided to go to the Pangkor Island. It was all fun, till I was swept off by the waves into the middle of the sea and my brothers were trying to save me from drowning in the sea. My eldest brother was holding onto my hands, and something told me to let go off it as I will not survive it. And I decided to let go off the hand. I heard my brothers screaming asking me to reach for their hands. But I felt calm as I drifted off from everything and everyone. I knew I was already drowning a