"Can you say something so that I can know what you are thinking?". I could sense the frustration in his voice as I was blankly staring at the barren road infront of me. "Atleast tell me are you okay with the decision?". I remained silent.
Okay. I said. That was the only word came out of my mouth.
"Okay, let us pretend like nothing happened and remain as friends. I'll drop you off now." I said nothing. I had no idea if I should talk or remain silent. But, my brain was screaming and crying and begging him to not end this. As always, ego won at that moment. I never wanted to reveal to him on how important is he to me and how much I love him.
As he stopped the car near my residence, all I could do was kiss him my last goodbye and gave him a long warm hug.
He left.
I was looking at his car as it was drifting away from me as he did. They say the the best place for you to make decisions that may change your life is when you are showering. After ending a relationship, I badly needed a good shower and sometime alone. I left the tap open and sat in silence as the water splashed on my head. I wasn't sure if it was the hot shower or my tears, but I could feel hot droplets of water running through my cheeks. I have heard people saying that when you die, you could see memories of your life playing visual slides in your mind. Well, I was 100% sure that I was still breathing. Yet, I knew I was emotionally dead. A kaleidoscope of memories rushed into my brain.
You will never know someone will mean so much to you when the first time you meet them. It was mid of March. School seems to be the most lifeless place on earth. That is when he came in. The whole school was talking about the 'New Kid' in school. I wasn't so excited about it as I've always been labelled as the nerd kid by my group of friends back in those days, which obviously means education was like the only thing that mattered the most to me at that time. But, deep down I knew that I had the same feelings and emotions that a normal human being would have. I used to admire him from far. His unique name.The way the speaks to his friends. The way he walks, smiles and the dimples he gets when he smiles. Literally everything about him attracted me. I never spoke to him not even once.
Years passed. Faith brought us together. We started talking by chance. And that is when we became good friends. We shared so many memories together. As time goes on ,I wanted more than a friendship with him. So, I confessed to him that I like him. Even though things didnt turn up the way I wanted it to be, we shared something special.
As I grow up, I realised that things arent gonna work the way I wanted it to be. I realised he is nothing like I imagined him to be. And here I am today, regretting for letting him ruin my life, all alone sitting under the shower and thinking why didnt I give up on him even when I knew that HE IS NOT THE ONE. I never thought it would end this way. I lied to myself saying he will come back to me as he always did. But, this time it was different. He threw me away like a used tissue paper. Like I meant nothing to him. Maybe if and only if I have told him how I really felt about him, I would never had lost him. The unsaid words remains unsaid forever within me till the end without him knowing that there is someone who loves him for the person he is even when he is full of flaws.
Okay. I said. That was the only word came out of my mouth.
"Okay, let us pretend like nothing happened and remain as friends. I'll drop you off now." I said nothing. I had no idea if I should talk or remain silent. But, my brain was screaming and crying and begging him to not end this. As always, ego won at that moment. I never wanted to reveal to him on how important is he to me and how much I love him.
As he stopped the car near my residence, all I could do was kiss him my last goodbye and gave him a long warm hug.
He left.
I was looking at his car as it was drifting away from me as he did. They say the the best place for you to make decisions that may change your life is when you are showering. After ending a relationship, I badly needed a good shower and sometime alone. I left the tap open and sat in silence as the water splashed on my head. I wasn't sure if it was the hot shower or my tears, but I could feel hot droplets of water running through my cheeks. I have heard people saying that when you die, you could see memories of your life playing visual slides in your mind. Well, I was 100% sure that I was still breathing. Yet, I knew I was emotionally dead. A kaleidoscope of memories rushed into my brain.
You will never know someone will mean so much to you when the first time you meet them. It was mid of March. School seems to be the most lifeless place on earth. That is when he came in. The whole school was talking about the 'New Kid' in school. I wasn't so excited about it as I've always been labelled as the nerd kid by my group of friends back in those days, which obviously means education was like the only thing that mattered the most to me at that time. But, deep down I knew that I had the same feelings and emotions that a normal human being would have. I used to admire him from far. His unique name.The way the speaks to his friends. The way he walks, smiles and the dimples he gets when he smiles. Literally everything about him attracted me. I never spoke to him not even once.
Years passed. Faith brought us together. We started talking by chance. And that is when we became good friends. We shared so many memories together. As time goes on ,I wanted more than a friendship with him. So, I confessed to him that I like him. Even though things didnt turn up the way I wanted it to be, we shared something special.
As I grow up, I realised that things arent gonna work the way I wanted it to be. I realised he is nothing like I imagined him to be. And here I am today, regretting for letting him ruin my life, all alone sitting under the shower and thinking why didnt I give up on him even when I knew that HE IS NOT THE ONE. I never thought it would end this way. I lied to myself saying he will come back to me as he always did. But, this time it was different. He threw me away like a used tissue paper. Like I meant nothing to him. Maybe if and only if I have told him how I really felt about him, I would never had lost him. The unsaid words remains unsaid forever within me till the end without him knowing that there is someone who loves him for the person he is even when he is full of flaws.
Ps: Just a fictional story inspired from the books I read. . Thank you for reading
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