Paranoia

CHAPTER1:  The First Meet... 

I was dwelled in my own world, as usual. Ignoring the existence of the real world that I exist in and pretty much stayed focused what would happen next to Russ, to Vivian and their child after the divorce. I was turning the pages with intense emotion while sipping my coffee. Though I could feel the steamy, aromatic ashy taste of Cocoa Cappuccino getting down the throat, I couldn’t enjoy the coffee as much as I would usually do as the novel got me hooked up with it. I have no idea how long I have been sitting at the corner of the coffee shop and immersed in the novel. But, I am pretty sure I would have gotten at least a few stares from the people around me with the facial expressions that I was giving the entire time. But, I was not bothered to care enough on what the people around think about what I do. It’s a free country after all.

As I continued to flip the pages a sudden feel of discomfort occurred. I felt like I was being watched or being intensely observed that gave me the urge to get back to the reality and see what is actually happening around me for a moment. I was staggered to see him, sitting at the empty chair opposite of mine and looking sharp into my eyes. His eyes, they were powerful, mesmerizing, which got me speechless for at least a few seconds. I sat without even moving a single muscle in my body as if I was caught in his spell.

“Interesting book huh? You seem to be so into it”, he said, with a smile that revealed the dimples on his cheeks. Can’t lie, but it did get my attention on him. I gave him a half smile and said nothing. I don’t want to be risking myself talking to a stranger who has been staring at me for god knows how long. “A pretty lady like you must have a sweet voice I suppose, but I am a little taken aback that I don’t deserve to hear them. That’s okay. Sorry though for wasting your time with my nuisance”, he stood up as he said those words. I burst into laughter listening to what he has just said. ‘Smooth’, I thought to myself. “You look beautiful when you laugh, and it’s on you if I am falling for you right now”, he said while adjusting his seat back on place. Couldn’t handle the cliché pickup lines he was blurting out, I felt the urge to say something to stop him.

“Enough of the cheesy pickup lines, and tell me what is your purpose of trying so hard to get me caught in your charm, sir?” I said, giving him a straight face. “Oh I am sorry for bothering you with my charm, if you say so. I’ll take a leave now, but before that, can I at least know your name please?” he replied with puppy eyes once he sensed that I was feeling uncomfortable with him being around me. Couldn’t lie, but he did had a charming look which convinced me that he might not be one of those dangerous people to talk with, but to be on the safe side I did not respond anything to him.

“Okay, I will just take that as yes for me to make a move. Anyway, I’m Samuel Padillia. Uhmm, I work a few blocks away from here. I am a strong believer of destiny and I am pretty sure I’m about to bump into you, again, real soon. And it wouldn’t be nice if I say hey girl with a novel in Starbucks, right?”, he had cheeky smile on his face while he said those words. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at his mischievousness. I said nothing and without a second thought, I gave him the novel, which I’ve read until the climax and was eagerly waiting for him to leave so that I can read the falling act of the story without interruption, or at least till then. “My name, it is in of the pages in this novel. Show some initiative and find them out if you really want to know me. With the technology and stuff, you can always google for my name and find me. Let’s see how far the destiny that you believe in gets us going”, I said. I was a little surprised of myself to the way I responded to his charm, but never regretted it. I left the place as soon as the conversation was over between us. Though my heart still wants to know how the novel ends, but I was much more excited that maybe it wasn’t about the story’s ending, but a beginning of a new story.

A story of me, Amber Christina and Samuel Padillia.

CHAPTER 2: Tragedy, Or Is It Really ? 

I walked passed a few buildings and thinking of which one does he works in as he mentioned that he works a few blocks away from the coffee shop. He did keep me thinking about him the whole time that day. Or maybe that is why I was so reckless while I was crossing the road, I guess.

“Hey Woman, be careful”, that was the last voice that I heard and before I could brain that a car, speeding, maybe in 130km/h speed in my direction, which I failed to notice, hit me and felt me unconscious. All I remember before passing out was people and the stench smell of my own blood. I realized that I was flooded in my own pool of blood.

I have no idea how many hours or days I was unconscious. The first thing that I saw the moment I opened my eyes was him. Samuel. He was there, wearing a white coat and stethoscope hanging over his broad shoulders. For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating. But as he said “How are you feeling now, Miss Amber?” with the same charming smile that I could remember of, I knew I wasn’t hallucinating. “So, destiny, huh?”, I told him with a weak voice. Pain was all over the place. I was not sure where does it really hurts but all I knew was it is unbearable. Somehow, the presence of him around me made me feel light and better.

Apparently, Samuel was not just any ‘Samuel’. He is a doctor, a Cardio surgeon in the hospital which was located a few blocks away from the coffee shop that I met him for the first time. My nurse, Sister Emmanuelle, told me that I was lucky enough to be treated by Dr. Samuel because he was known as the Cardio god of the hospital and he is the best in the city. Samuel explained to me that I have hit by a speeding car at the junction near the place we met and my heart was ruptured by the broken rib and I was in a critical condition. I needed a heart transplant immediately and he had to work his ass off for me to get a donor, which was not easy as there were many people in the waiting list. As it was an emergency case and there was a donor on the night I was admitted and matched my blood group, I was immediately taken to get the transplant done. Of course, he was using so many medical jargons which I have never heard of while explaining to me on what happened to me after the accident, yet I wanted him to keep talking as I find him more attractive in that way.

CHAPTER 3: Blooming Relationship. 

Dr. Samuel was indeed good at what he does, to be honest. As a patient of him, I could give 5 stars for the service that he gave throughout my days in the hospital. Although it sucked to be in the rough hospital bed and the beep sounds of the machines, Samuel made my stay there a pleasant one. He kept an eye on me every now and then and made sure that I was entertained with something the whole time. I admired him a lot and all I knew was I am already caught in his spell of charm and I am not in the state of denial of that.

When I was fully recovered from the accident and also the transplant, I was ready to go home. I was excited of the idea of being home and to be tugged into my comfy bed, yet there was some kind of a feeling which I was not able to express. The feeling of not getting to see Samuel on a daily basis. It became a habit of greeting him good morning every day and talking to him about random things while he is checking my vitals, or maybe using that as a reason to have a little chat. And I was pretty sure things are going to be weird when I am home. Still, I was hoping that I could get to meet Samuel every now and then as I sensed our feelings were reciprocating.  

First few days at home was normal as I used most of my free time to do something that I have done for years, which is giving myself a break. My entire life was always been busy and sometimes I just wonder where I got the time to even breathe. This is my very first time in life where I had nothing to do or even think about. But, he was always lingering in my thoughts day and night. I can’t get him off my mind, not even for a single second. For two days after I was back from hospital, I did not contact him, as I do not want to sound desperate of his attention, even when I was, or to disturb him in his busy schedule. Those two days were the time when I realized that I was in love with him, which was pretty much difficult to believe. I was getting a little restless thinking about him all day, every day. So, that is when I decided that I should maybe tell him how I feel about him.

The next day morning, I texted him saying I was unable to sleep the night before. Within a few minutes of the text was delivered, he called. I was jumping in joy seeing his name popping up on my phone screen. My stomach clutched a little in excitement when I heard his voice at the other end of the phone, but, I hid my excitement and responded his hello with a plain hey, hi. I could sense a little bit of disappointment in his voice when I said hi, without any emotion in it. We talked for hours then. It was his off day, so, he asked me if he could come over to my place for the evening. Words wouldn’t be sufficient to explain the excitement I had when I heard him saying those words. Knowing that I was pretty much weak to make some dinner for us, he offered to grab some Chinese while his way to my home. Again, without showing my excitement, I agreed to the plan and danced in joy once I hung up the phone.

Chapter 4 : He Is The One!

And our first meet up or unofficial spontaneous date I would call it, was one of the wonderful nights that I would love to cherish my whole life. He was sweet, caring and the way he adored me made me a little uncomfortable and conscious of myself, to be honest, because no one has ever complimented me as much as he did that night. Though, I thought he was just trying to woo me in the beginning, he kept proving me that I was wrong about it. I have no idea how did the next 4 months flew, but all I knew was, I love him and we were meant to be together. We frequently went out for dates and sometimes we just cuddle in the couch and have lazy nights together. Whatever it was, the time I spent with him was precious and every minute reminded me of how lucky I was to have a person like him by my side.

Chapter 5 : Paranoia 

Just when I thought that my life was going fine like a fairy tale, those dreams came, every night. And that night was the worst nightmare of all. The hysterical scream I gave woke Samuel, who was sound asleep beside me.

“What’s wrong, babe? Relax, I’m here,” Samuel held me in his arms and stroked my hair while I was still in the shock of what I have seen in my dreams. I was shivering and trembling in fear. “ There was a guy, in black suit, dragging a body. And there was blood everywhere. EVERYWHERE!,” I wept like child hugging Samuel tight and never wanted to leave him, not even for a second. The image of the dream that I had was still fresh in my mind and I was not able to sleep or even be on my own for days, thinking about the gory events in my dream.

“Why don’t you come over and stay with me at my apartment for a few days until you get better? My mom will be around to accompany you and she is really a good company I would say. You will not regret.” Samuel said on the third day of me being zombie-fied due to lack of sleep and clouded thoughts. Without thinking much, I accepted Samuel’s sweet offer and packed my essentials for a few days.

“Now I know where Samuel does get his good looks from, aunty. You look gorgeous and younger than I imagined you would be”, I complimented Samuel’s mother the moment I met her. Samuel’s mother was indeed a good company. She had so much of stories to tell about Samuel and his mischievousness during his younger days. I got to know him better through the stories that his mom told me. Though everything was fine, the gory dreams were still there every night and I was glad I had Samuel by my side to comfort me every night.

“It is very normal for patients with heart transplants to have dreams like this. We call it the cellular memory. Its pseudo-science, where there is no solid evidence to say why it happens or so, but I may occur because of the trauma the patient goes through due to the heart transplant.” Samuel was saying something which I had no idea about. With a blurry look in my eyes, “So, is there anything that I can do to make it stop?” I asked him. “We can do nothing much about it. But, consulting a psychiatrist might help the situation a little. I have a friend, whom I can refer you to”, Samuel’s words made me feel like I was some sort of mentally ill person who needs psychological help. But, he was right. Seeing a psychiatrist may help and if does, why not, right?

Chapter 6 : Chase Your Dreams, they say. 

Irfun Amran. Dark-skinned 6ft 7-ish tall handsome Asian. He was the psychiatrist whom Samuel referred me to. Even if it isn’t for the therapy sessions, I would not mind spending my time with such a charismatic guy like him. He was super calm and warm, which made me to feel comfortable of my sessions with him. As Samuel said, the therapy sessions did helped a lot in overcoming the nightmares every night. Now, as I have started to stay home alone without the company of Samuel or his mother, I feel a little brave. But, the nightmares never stopped haunting me.

One of the nights, I remembered very clearly of details of my nightmare. It was at the 11^th street, near the subway, a place which I used to pass-by every day during my college days. There was a door scribbled with the words “CAUTION”.  I remembered it clearly. That was the place where the guy in black suit dragged all the bodies to. And I couldn’t sleep after that. Things were kept bothering me of the ‘what if(s)”.

The next morning, without letting Samuel or anyone else know of my plans, I decided to pay a visit to the place which I saw in my nightmare and find out if there is anything at the place. I was trembling in fear, but I need to know why I am getting the dreams too often. There is something the god wants me to find out and I am ready for the adventure. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the exact door which was scribbled with words in my dreams and that moment felt like a déjà vu. Without wasting my time I tried opening the door. Something told me that what I am about to see is going to be dreadful experience and I should call someone and inform my whereabouts.

So, I quickly dialed the cops and informed them that I saw something near the subway at 11^th street, even though I did not, but I have no idea why I did so. As always, I trusted my guts. And the next moment, I entered in by opening the door.

It was dark and being a person with nyctophobia, I was afraid to take the next step. Yet, again, my guts told me that I am about to solve a mystery. I switched the torch in my phone and tried to see if I could find anything around. There was another door that led to another space on the left side of the room. Again, I opened the door without a second thought.

BANGGGGG! A sharp pain in my head and I went blank. Before getting knocked out, I saw the figure of the guy, the guy in the black suit in my dreams. And that was the last thing I remember.

CHAPTER 7: There she goes, again.. 

Once again, I woke up in a familiar setting of the hospital which I was admitted a few months ago and the first person for me to see was, Him, Samuel, sitting at the bedside holding my hand tight against his chest. Looking at his unshaved face and crumpled shirt, I knew he was worried about me. Yet, he looked as handsome as he always does. I gave a pale smile looking at him. “Can, you promise me that you will never do anything stupid like this anymore? PLEASE! I died a little after the cops called me the other day”, he sounded so concern and I could sense the fear of losing me in his voice. “Why do you care so much?” I asked, even when I knew what it is all about clearly. But, I wanted him to say those words that I have been longing to hear for a long time. “Are you really that dumb or are acting like you are dumb?” This time could clearly hear the frustration in his voice and I can’t stop myself from laughing at him. “ Well, maybe I am dumb or I just want you to be the first to say it:, I replied with a cheeky smile. Just when he was about to say something, the cops came in.

“ Hello Ms.Amber, how are you doing today. We hope that we are not interrupting both of you”, said the cop, who looked like he could just kill a few people just by staring at them. With a little bit of disappointment, I greeted them with a smile and invited them to sit. “So, Ms.Amber, I am pretty sure by now, you should have known that you were attacked by someone near the location that you called us before you were being attacked. And thank god, Dr.Samuel was there before us to safe you and brought you to the hospital on time. Do you remember anything on what happened on that day?. And why did you go there in the first place?” asked the cop with a stern look in his face. I held Samuel’s hand tight, as a support and told them the truth, which sounded crazy. But I had to. And what I heard next was even more surprising than I expected.

According to the cop, they searched the place that I was attacked and they found 3 dead bodies and through the post-mortem they have identified that the bodies belongs to 3 most wanted criminals in the city, whom have been searching by the cops for some time. I was staring blankly at the cops as they were telling me information. Indeed, the nightmares were not just nightmares, but it was a sign from someone to find out and solve the mystery. I was dumbfounded and Samuel and I exchanged looks. The cops thanked and appreciated my brave action, but still warned me to not anything that could danger my life. They still have not found the suspect who killed the 3 criminals and kept the bodies there and investigations are still going on and reminded me to stay safe as the suspect might want to hurt me again. I glanced at Samuel as the cops were talking to me, and thought, as long as he is by my side, I will be out of danger. He always made me feel safe.

Chapter 8: Happily ever after? Maybe not. 

Months passed by. Though I have solved the mystery, I was still having the nightmares. As the cops warned, I stayed cautious of where I go and also my surroundings. Samuel told me to brush it off as if it was just a bad dream.

On the 17^th of March, while I was busy reading a novel, my phone rang. It was Samuel on the line. “Babe, I would like to take you to dinner tonight. Are you available? And I have something important to tell you which I have been wanting to tell you for a long time”, my heart stopped for a second and I could feel the butterflies in my tummy hearing his voice. Without a second thought, “Yes, of course, I am free tonight. Meet you at 7 maybe?’ I said. We hung up the call after that. I was so excited about the night. I bathed and searched for the best outfit for the official date night with Samuel. While getting ready, the sudden thought of what the cops told me the other day came up to my mind. “Dr. Samuel found you and took you the hospital” I froze for a moment. Because, according to Samuel, the cops called him to spot after finding me unconscious. ‘Maybe I heard it wrongly’, I thought and I brushed off the thoughts aside. I was pretty much excited and I do not want the mood to be spoiled thinking about the unpleasant event.

At 7 sharp, the doorbell rang. I ran down the stairs like a five year old child and opened the door. It was Samuel, in his black suit. And my heartbeat increased as he resembled the figure in my nightmares….