Disclaimer : I am not a professional nor someone who has an in-depth knowledge of psychological issues. I just wanted to keep a journal of what I am currently experiencing for my own self, as well to help to those experience the same issue. This is also not an act of seeking sympathy or attention from anyone. Merely writing it for myself and for those who are experiencing anxiety like myself too. It was December, in 2017. The usual yearly vacation with my family season, where on the particular year we decided to go to the Pangkor Island. It was all fun, till I was swept off by the waves into the middle of the sea and my brothers were trying to save me from drowning in the sea. My eldest brother was holding onto my hands, and something told me to let go off it as I will not survive it. And I decided to let go off the hand. I heard my brothers screaming asking me to reach for their hands. But I felt calm as I drifted off from everything and everyone. I knew I was already d...
4 th December 2020, 8.33p.m . My body was trembling and my heartbeat was over the roof, thinking what have I got myself into. I have no idea what would happen next. It was thrilling, yet the pressure of not knowing what is up next made me to have an adrenaline rush. But, all I could think of is, it is going to be a worthwhile experience. As I was walking towards the car, I literally could feel my heart out of its place. Being someone who is pretty much self-conscious, “what would he think about my funny hairstyle” was the only question that was running in my mind. The moment of truth. I went into the car. And the first thing I heard was “I like your hairstyle, its cute though”. I was relieved and started to let loose a little after hearing those words from him. There were some moments of silence. Millions of things were running in my mind. Never have I ever thought I would go out with an absolute stranger whom I have no idea about within less than 24 hours of getting to know ...